Monday 27 January 2014

Almost Pirate Gold

I think you could count winning the lottery as luck. There are other times that might appear to be simple luck, but I think there’s more to it than that—I think it’s the brain doing a computer-like calculation and telling you to take a certain course of action.

One of those times occurred to me in the 1980’s when I was between sea voyages and living in Toronto. My friend Jan Creba bought me a book written by Morton Shulman—How to Invest your Money and Profit from Inflation. Why she bought me the book, I have no idea. I had no knowledge of—or interest in—investing at the time.

But I’d always been fascinated by gold (the pirate treasure kind), so it was Mort’s section on the magical yellow metal that caught my attention. He made three basic suggestions as I recall, ranging from the conservative to the rather bold. I opted for the latter which, if memory serves, went something like this: If you have $10,000 that you can afford to lose, buy gold futures.

What possessed me to follow the advice of this writer I’d never heard of before? Who knows…that little computer brain thing perhaps. Anyway, I began my investment career with two futures contracts. Whenever gold went up a dollar, I made $200. I bought the contracts when it was just over $400 an ounce and it began shooting up.

The whole thing worked out rather well for me—over the course of around three months I made about $140,000. At one time I held six contracts. I remember the time as a wild, roller-coaster ride.

Another benefit of my little foray into the investment world was the free food and grog. Friends and acquaintances were desperate to discover the secret of my success so there was rarely a day went by that I didn’t have an invitation to lunch or dinner. I started off by telling the truth—that I’d been given a book and I was simply following its advice—but no one wanted to believe it was that simple and after forking out for the food and booze, they’d leave disappointed.

So I began to make stuff up. I’d draw meaningless graphs on napkins and fire off a bunch of statistics—the kind of stuff stock brokers waffle on about to convince you to buy. Stuff that kind of validates what’s already happened but has no bearing whatsoever on the future.

But the bulls--t appeared to be more palatable to my hosts. At the end of the meal, they’d tuck their napkin graphs carefully into pockets and smilingly pay the bill, as if they’d absorbed some great wisdom.

Toward the end of the ride, when gold was up over $800 per ounce, it began to waver. But good old Mort had left instructions for such a circumstance. Buy short, he advised, at the first signs of weakness. And so I did. I was now making money as it began to go down.

Funny though—people don’t always appreciate success when it’s you who’s enjoying it rather than them. I was walking into my local bar one night when someone I vaguely knew was leaving. “How’s your gold doing now?” he pipes up with a gleeful smirk on his face.

“Fine thanks,” I replied politely. “I bought short.” The grin dropped from his face like a rock.


How come I wasn’t invited to help spend the loot? Davina

1 comment:

  1. Peter, Just Think if you had bought gold in the early 70's when it was $35,00 an ounce . We would all be on Easy Street. A teacher friend of mine did just that ,every penny he had went into gold. He encouraged me to do like wise, but as one would have it ,I didn't have pot to piss in or window to throw it out. So much for lost oppurtunties . SIDNEY

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